


A Dandelion and a Sunflower

by roseknight



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Hq rarepair exchange 2017, Reverse Chronological Order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10269752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseknight/pseuds/roseknight
Summary: Hitoka knows she can't compare, that it's like a common dandelion rooted beside a magnificent sunflower, but even if it's more than she deserves, she wants to bask in the sunlight with Kiyoko for as long as she can.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For puddingcatbae as part of the HQ Rarepair Exchange 2017! I was your pinch hitter and I managed to finish just in time. I hope you enjoy your KiyoYachi gift!

2026.06.03.

Hitoka flutters her fingers and the bath fills with a rainbow of petals: pastel lilacs, rich red and pink roses, everything gently muted by white lilies. There's a candle with a matching floral fragrance for each flower placed somewhere in the bathroom, the only lights other than the slant of sunset from a high window. "It's perfect," she murmurs to herself. Then, more nervously, "I hope."

Whenever Hitoka plans a surprise for Kiyoko, she usually ends up regretting it and finding all the flaws in her idea as the time for her girlfriend to arrive home approaches, but when this happens, she's taught herself to breathe. Relax. Drink a cup of tea and simply wait. She isn't a child anymore, and panicking can't be her reflex.

She knows she's learned every shade of nuance in Kiyoko's likes and dislikes by this point, anyway. That's one of the perks of a long-term relationship. Even after the butterflies of those impossibly wonderful first weeks passed, there was comfort and excitement, and then this ever-deepening and familiar love. She knows Kiyoko's touch so well, how soft and cold her fingers always are when they brush against her skin like she's something precious, that she can summon it from memory when she craves it.

"I'm home," Kiyoko calls from the entryway, and Hitoka rushes out of the bathroom. Halfway down the hall, she turns around to run back and close the bathroom door, and then goes to greet Kiyoko.

"Welcome back." She stands on her tiptoes and kisses Kiyoko gently. She's wearing lipstick today, but Hitoka doesn't care about the slight stain it's sure to leave on her own lips. "Are you tired from work?"

"Not really. It wasn't a busy day," Kiyoko says, kneeling down to unlace her shoes.

Hitoka feels like every day as a nurse must be busy, at least compared to working freelance. Either way, Kiyoko will surely be pleased to have an opportunity to relax. She bends down and carefully unwinds the scarf from her neck, and Kiyoko smiles up at her.

"You're in a doting mood."

Hitoka's cheeks pinken. "I just can't help it."

"I don't mind." Kiyoko stands and Hitoka stands with her, struck as always by how tall she is and how graceful her every move is.

"Please follow me," she says, then feels awkward about how awkward and stiff it came out, but it's too late to take it back. She takes Kiyoko's hand and leads her towards the bathroom. Before she opens the door, she takes another deep breath for courage, an old habit. She breathes in again when the door is open and a waft of sweet, warm air comes out to curl around them.

"Oh," Kiyoko says. Her own cheeks go a bit pink. "Thank you, Hitoka. This is lovely."

Hitoka's heart warms, a heat that moves into every cell in her body. She slowly reaches out to begin unbuttoning Kiyoko's shirt. Kiyoko lets her, and their clothes pile up on the floor. The water is the perfect temperature when they get in together, holding hands, submerged in flowers.

2023.03.19.

Hitoka clicks the send button, emailing her last paper, and buries her head in her arms in hollow relief. College has ended far more quickly than high school did. All that's left is to pack her things, say her goodbyes, and move...

Back to Miyagi? Back to her mother's apartment? To Tokyo, for even more college or a gamble to get noticed as a web designer mere days after graduation?

She's moved from one option to the other, never settling on any of them, in a constant loop for the entire last year. Vaguely, she hoped that when graduation neared, she would automatically know what's right for her. But it doesn't seem to work like that after all. The decision is hers and she has no idea what the right one is. All she has is the fear that making the wrong decision is going to doom her life at twenty-two.

She lifts her head to stare in her mirror, trying to convince herself that she's actually a capable adult, and is so intently focused that she doesn't notice her phone going off until it's on the third ring. She starts and grabs it, in such a hurry that she answers without checking the caller id. "Hello, sorry!"

"'Sorry'...?" It's Kiyoko's confused voice, and Hitoka almost apologizes again for confusing her, but Kiyoko speaks before she can. "Are you busy, Hitoka-chan?"

"No," Hitoka says, shaking her head. "I still need to pack, but honestly that report sapped all my energy. I'm not going to move from my chair for another few hours, I think."

"Oh." She almost thinks Kiyoko sounds disappointed, but it's hard to tell with her. Her voice is so quiet and gentle (and lovely, though she tries not to think about that) that years of knowing her hasn't revealed all its mysteries. "Then, can I bring dinner to you?"

"What?"

"I was going to ask you to dinner to celebrate your graduation, but if you're tired, I can bring takeout to your apartment," she clarifies.

"Oh." Hitoka blinks, noticing how surprised her reflection looks. "Yes, I mean, you don't have to trouble yourself or anything, and we can go somewhere if you'd prefer, not to be presumptuous, we don't have to go out at all, and actually I should pay, and-"

"Hitoka-chan." This time, Hitoka reads her tone with more confidence. It's amused. ...Adoring? "Let me bring you takeout."

"Okay." Hitoka can't argue with that. "But since you're going to the trouble, you can pick what we eat."

"We have the same favorite, don't we?"

Hitoka remembers weekend nights with Chinese takeout covering the table, homework covering the floor, the two of them on the couch, side by side, close but never close enough. "...Yeah. We do."

"I'll be there in thirty minutes." Kiyoko hangs up and Hitoka collapses back onto her arms.

She wants to see Kiyoko. She doesn't want to see Kiyoko. Seeing Kiyoko isn't enough. Her heart is indecisive here, too, but she tries to quiet it. She has to be normal when Kiyoko gets here.

Whether she manages it or not, she can't tell, but she answers the door right away when there's a soft knock. "Thanks for bringing dinner," she says, stepping aside to let Kiyoko in.

Kiyoko leaves her umbrella upside-down outside the door, where it drips onto the concrete. It must've started raining while Hitoka was absorbed in proofreading her essay for the fifth time. She shivers from the damp, chilly wind that comes through the door with Kiyoko. "You came all the way in such bad weather..."

"I wanted to. Don't worry about it." As Hitoka closes the door behind her, she starts pulling cartons out of a plastic bag and opens them all on the coffee table. There's a cushion on either side and she kneels on one. Hitoka takes the other, stomach suddenly rumbling at the presence of so much delicious food.

"This is perfect. Thank you so much."

"You already thanked me, remember?" Kiyoko smiles. It's a smile so pretty it hurts and Hitoka's fingers curl into her leggings. "This is a celebration for you. You've earned it."

They eat in silence that's calm, not awkward. Being roommates for two years has made them completely at ease in each other's presence. They don't feel the need to fill every idle moment with talk.

Hitoka does have one important question, though. "Did you decide whether you would take the position in Sendai?"

"I haven't quite made up my mind. I know I need to make a decision soon, but..." She pauses thoughtfully. "Hitoka, what are your plans? I haven't heard yet."

"I don't know either," she admits. "My mom wants me to go to graduate school, but I want to get some real-world experience. I've only had school experience my whole life."

Kiyoko nods. She always listens so intently. It makes Hitoka feel like her every word matters, which sometimes is nice and sometimes is a little too much pressure. "You might be able to have more experiences outside of Miyagi."

"But it's home." She puts her chopsticks down after finishing one more dumpling. "If I go somewhere else, I won't know anyone, and I- I don't know if I can be that lonely." It's not something she'd confess to just anyone, but she knows Kiyoko won't judge her.

"You would make friends," Kiyoko says. "Wherever you go. People are drawn to you."

"No, no, it's not like that." Hitoka waves her hands in protest. "I just, I try to be helpful, so-"

"I mean it, Hitoka." Kiyoko bites her lip and looks down. The nervous gesture surprises Hitoka, who has no idea what it could mean. "I don't want you to feel stifled in Miyagi if you have plans elsewhere. But if you do decide to move back, would you like to be roommates again?"

Hitoka blinks. "What?" They haven't talked about that at all, and she wonders if she heard correctly.

"Of course, it's only if you want to," Kiyoko adds, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, another clear sign she's nervous.

"Of course I do!" Hitoka reaches across the table and grabs her hand in a surge of emotion. But as soon as she realizes she's broken rule number two, she pulls her hand back. "I would love that, but..." She sighs inwardly. "I mean, isn't there someone else you'd rather be roommates with?"

She tries never to ask so much it seems like she's prying, but she can't help but think Kiyoko must have someone she's interested in. She's too beautiful and kind and perfect not to have caught the eyes of many. As soon as she looks back at one of them, it's all over, and though Hitoka dreads it, she wants it to be over with, like the first burning step into an onsen, so she can adjust and move on with her life.

"No." Kiyoko answers right away, her voice unwavering. "There's no one else I'd rather be roommates with. Actually, there's no one else I'd rather spend my time with. I've missed seeing you every day."

Hitoka's head spins and her heart forgets what its job is. "Well- thank you, Kiyoko, I'm really happy you consider me such a good friend-"

This time, Kiyoko takes her hand. Hitoka doesn't have the strength nor the will to pull away. "I do consider you a good friend. But I'm not really asking you to be my roommate, I suppose. It's my fault for not being more clear." She laces their fingers together. "I'm asking, will you be my girlfriend?"

Hitoka's eyes widen slowly. She stares at Kiyoko in hopeless confusion, eyes dropping to her lips as though she might be able to see the imprint of that impossible sentence on them.

Kiyoko reaches out with her other hand and tilts Hitoka's head back up gently. "It's okay if you aren't interested, but I promised myself that when you graduated, I would find the courage to ask."

It's surreal to hear Kiyoko talk about gathering courage, especially in the context of using it to confess to Hitoka. To her embarrassment, tears pool in her eyes, and she blinks them away. "I'm interested. Very, very interested. There's nothing else I've ever wanted more."

Relief warms Kiyoko's eyes. "And there's nothing else I've ever wanted to hear more than that."

Hitoka doesn't mean to, but she cries in earnest then, too overwhelmed not to, and Kiyoko holds her until she can stop.

2019.04.02.

Hitoka checks the number on the slip of paper she was given once more before squaring her shoulders and knocking on the door. "Hello, I'm coming in!" she calls out, tentatively turning the knob to her newly assigned dorm room.

"Come on in," a voice that sounds strangely nostalgic says, and when Hitoka steps inside, she understands why. The black-haired woman adjusting her glasses freezes. "Hitoka-chan?"

"Kiyoko-san!" Hitoka's suitcase slips out of her fingers. "You- you're- we're roommates?"

She remembers that Kiyoko chose this college, but she's a third-year now, and as far as Hitoka knows, she's in the medical science department. Is a god playing a trick on her? What are the chances of her being thrown back together with Kiyoko? Is it fate? She doesn't know how she's supposed to feel. She's been mentally preparing to live with a stranger for the last week and now that she knows she'll be living with someone she used to be close to, she has to recalibrate.

Then Kiyoko gives her a small smile and just like that, Hitoka knows that not only is everything going to be okay, but that this is the best possible roommate scenario for her.

They have a lot to catch up on, and that's what they end up doing instead of unpacking. They sit on a hastily made-up bed and talk about old memories fondly: watching national volleyball matches from the sidelines, tearful graduations, the friendship of theirs that genuinely deepened when at first they were no more than co-managers.

Now, sitting here and talking and laughing with Kiyoko, Hitoka cannot remember why they ever stopped spending time together. It wasn't a conscious decision. Kiyoko went to college, Hitoka threw herself into the success of a new volleyball team, then found herself drowning in textbooks and test prep as she prepared for college entrance exams. Things had naturally faded, just as Hitoka had promised she would never let happen. She sees now real life is not something so easily held in hand. She can't keep control of time, she can't keep it ready to mold between her palms. And the flow of it had dragged her far away from her initial expectations.

But now that same flow of time has brought her here, and she considers herself beyond lucky. She's going to hold onto their friendship, this time.

College is new and fresh and fun in a way high school could never have competed with. Maybe it's just because she gets to spend so much of her time with Kiyoko. Late nights with takeout and deadlines surrounding them, weekends out at the movies or trying new restaurants. It's like every night is a sleepover and she gets to live with her best friend.

Then the illusion is shattered by her own mother.

"Hitoka, one of my clients has a son your age. I've arranged for you two to have dinner together this weekend," her mother says, tone casual yet iron, the same way she always sounds when making decisions for her daughter. Hitoka has grown a backbone and her mother respects that, usually, but old habits never fully die.

She feels dizzying anxiety at the mere thought of an arranged date with a guy she's never met and immediately tries to splutter out an excuse. "I don't know, Mom, I don't really think- I have a test! And a paper. So maybe this-"

"Hitoka," her mothers cuts her off impatiently. "I've heard you talk about your major and your friends, but I've heard nothing about a boyfriend." Her voice softens a little. "I don't want you to repeat my same mistakes. College is the time to find someone to be with."

Hitoka fidgets in her desk chair. Her mother always sounds faintly sad when she hints at her past, at the man she never married and who walked out of her life without a word before Hitoka was even born. "I just haven't found anyone I'm interested in."

"There's no one?" her mother asks, sounding like her usual self again, like when she's on the hunt for potential clients. "No one you've gotten close with? I'll call off the dinner if you've already got someone in mind, but otherwise, I'd like you to meet him with an open mind."

"There's no one, there's just-"

And in that moment, Hitoka is forced to come to terms with her own stupid naivety for the thousandth time in her life.

No one she's interested in? That couldn't be further from the truth.

"I've gotta go, Mom," she blurts out and hangs up the phone. She stares at the wall without seeing it or any of the posters on it. Her posters, Kiyoko's posters. Some she couldn't remember which of them they belonged to. Their lives had completely intermingled.

In a daze, she opens her laptop and pulls up a blank document. She makes herself a list. If she doesn't put some order to the awareness she's been thrust into, she won't know how to act.

_Rule #1_ , she types. _Don't look at Kiyoko too long._

_Rule #2. No touching._

_Rule #3. Don't get jealous when she gets a boyfriend._

_Rule #4. Don't expect anything but friendship from her._

She gathers her resolve after making her list and vows to live her life in accordance with it from then on out. Maybe fate wasn't in bringing her back to Kiyoko. Maybe fate was in the part that had them drifting apart in the first place. That would've been for the best.

Then she wouldn't have ended up with a hopeless crush on her female best friend.

2016.01.17.

These are some of her favorite moments, when it's her and Kiyoko changing alone in the locker room, happily exhausted from a day of cheering their troublesome but lovable team on. Hitoka feels a new thrill of excitement every time she goes on the court. She didn't understand at first, but now she's invested wholeheartedly. She owes that and so much more to Kiyoko.

She looks over at her, watching with an unconscious smile on her face as Kiyoko redoes her ponytail and adjusts her glasses. It's amazing how she can be so beautiful yet so cute at the same time. Everything Kiyoko does is amazing, actually. Hitoka's seen tapes of her track days, and she's seen the dedication she puts into everything she does. Hitoka knows she can't compare, that it's like a common dandelion rooted beside a magnificent sunflower, but even if it's more than she deserves, she wants to bask in the sunlight with Kiyoko for as long as she can.

There's nowhere else the sun feels so warm.

**Author's Note:**

> Hitoka is such a relatable baby lesbian and I love her with all my heart.


End file.
